TALES OF MONTMARTRE
GOON SHOW: TLO 95608
6TH SERIES: No
18
BROADCAST:
17 Jan 1956[1]
Script by Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes
GREENSLADE: This is the BBC Home Service – or if
you're French; 'Zis is ze Be Be Ce 'ome servis.
GRAMS: Excerpt of French accordion
music. Fade behind.
SECOMBE: Hear that French type music
listeners? (Laughs) Hm hm hm. It
gives you a clue as to what country tonight's play is set. Have any of you
guessed?
ECCLES: Nope.
SECOMBE: Try again Eccles.
ECCLES: Ah hum.
SECOMBE: Now here is another subtle
musical clue.
GRAMS: Recordings in quick succession:
ECCLES: Nope.
SECOMBE: It is difficult, I know. But
from time to time we will give you further clues. Now Mister Greenslade,
continue.
GREENSLADE: Mesdames et messieurs,
presenting 'Tales of Montmartre'.[5]
One, two, three…
FX: Pistol shot.
ORCHESTRA: Spirited version of
SEAGOON: (Slightly distant) It was
MILLIGAN: One moment. Get on this
chair.
FX: Shoes clambering on chairs.
SEAGOON: (Effort) Huh. (On mic) Merki.
My name is Toulouse-Lautrec – Neddie Toulouse-Lautrec of
ECCLES: Fine, fine.
GRAMS: Background city sounds; distant traffic;
bells of
SEAGOON: It was a bleak Parisian
evening when I entered a small art shop and haberdashery.
FX: Door opens. Shop bell rings. Door closes.
CRUN: Ah! Bone sewer.
SEAGOON: Bone idle, Monsieur la
patron. I want to buy a twenty foot easel.
CRUN: Twenty foot! Whatever for?
SEAGOON: I want people to think I'm
tall.
CRUN: But if you stand by a twenty
foot easel it'll make you look even shorter.
SEAGOON: That's just it, I'm not
going to stand by it. I'll stand somewhere else. (Laughs) Ha ha ha. I'm not a fool you know.
CRUN: If you're not going to stand
near it, why buy it?
SEAGOON: I've got to buy it so as to
have something tall not stand by. (Laughs)
Ha ha! It's no good not standing by something tall that's not there is it, ehi?
(Laughs) Ha ha ha… Ahem. [6]
CRUN: Supposing someone comes in
unexpectedly when you're standing near it?
SEAGOON: Then I shall deny every word
of it and stand on a ladder.
CRUN: I see. (Calls) Madam Bannister! Have you got that easel?
BANNISTER: (Distant) Oui, oui buddy. (Approaching)
Oh dear, dear. Here – twenty foot high. Shall I wrap it up for you buddy?
SEAGOON: No, just strap it on my
back and put my hat on top. (Leaving) I'll
show them how tall I can look. (Laughs) Ha
ha!
FX: Door opens. Shop bell rings.
SEAGOON: (Calls) Bonsoir.
BANNISTER: Bonsoir.
FX: Door closes.
GRAMS: “Moulin Rouge” theme – Mantovani Orchestra
version. Continue under. [7]
FX: Jangling of keys.
Keys into lock..
SEAGOON: (Singing over) … lips are near
but where is your heart?[8]
FX: Door opens.
SEAGOON: Ahhh, home at last. So saying, I set up my twenty
foot easel and started to paint. (Hums to
self)
MORIARTY: Good evening in French.
SEAGOON: Needle nardle noo! Who are
you?
MORIARTY: I am Count Fred Moriarty.
SEAGOON: Then why are you disguised
as Major Bloodnok?
MORIARTY: He couldn't come. It's the
dreaded lurgi you know.
SEAGOON: The dreaded lurgi, a likely
story – or a lurgi story.[9]
(Laughs) Hm hm hm. You come in here a
complete stranger and ...
MORIARTY: Correction, correction! –
an incomplete stranger.
SEAGOON: Explain.
MORIARTY: I have a wooden leg.
FX: Sudden sawing of wooden beam.
MORIARTY: Stop sawing my leg through
I tell you! Stop ...
GRAMS: Sound of enormous redwood falling.
SEAGOON: TIMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!...
MORIARTY: HEEEEEEELPPPPP…
GRAMS: Crash of tree to ground.
MORIARTY: Ohi! Sapristi nabolas.[10]
SEAGOON: Yes! – that's cut you down
to my size. Now, explain what you were doing in mon studio.
MORIARTY: Well as I said, mon name
is Count Fred Moriartee. Ah, you don’t mind if I speak French now?
SEAGOON: Of course.
MORIARTY: J’en acabbaga iouyie, oú
j’a arabbia aayie. (Cod French)
SEAGOON: Hold it! Hold it – I'll get
a bucket.
MORIARTY: Sapristi nabolas! – you
make a joke of me? Insult! We must fight a duel. Three paces and fire.
FX: Two rapid pistol shots.
MORIARTY: Thank you. Honour is
satisfied. Now to business.
SEAGOON: Business? What is your
business?
MORIARTY: I monsieur – I monsieur am
a collector.
SEAGOON: What do you collect?
MORIARTY: Firewood. I pay two francs
a bundle.
SEAGOON: Two francs?
FX: Sudden sawing of wooden beam.
MORIARTY: Stop sawing my wooden leg!
You insult me? – we must fight another
duel. Three paces.
FX: Two quick pistols shots.
MORIARTY: Thank you – honour is
satisfied. Monsieur Lautrec, I can do business with you.
SEAGOON: Me? I am but a poor old
painter.
MORIARTY: So I see by your poor old paintings.
SEAGOON: You insult me! – we must
fight a duel. On guard!
MORIARTY: On guard.
FX: Rattle of swords.
SEAGOON: Thank you – honour is
satisfied.
MORIARTY: Merci.
SEAGOON: Now, what do you want?
MORIARTY: That painting on that twenty
foot easel. Ten francs?
SEAGOON: (aside) Ten francs! He's made an offer. I've sold my first
painting.
MORIARTY: Correction – you've sold
your first easel.
SEAGOON: That twenty foot easel is
not for sale.
MORIARTY: (aside) Sapristi, sapristi! Curses, dear listeners. That great
easel sawn up, would made fifty bundles of French type firewood. I must have it!
I'll think of a plan. (Going off) Oww,
ze plan. I'll think of a plan…
FX: Knock on door.
SEAGOON: Pardon me.
FX: Door opens.
GAUGUIN: Oh good evening. Is your
mother in, sonny?
SEAGOON: Sonny? I'm Toulouse-Lautrec.
GAUGUIN: Oh? and where are you going
to lose him?
SEAGOON: Have a care sir! I'm not a
man to be laughed at.
GAUGUIN: (Giggling) Really? I heard your record and I just couldn't stop! [11]
SEAGOON: What, what, what, what,
what, what, what, what what?
GAUGUIN: What a Brouhaha!
SEAGOON: Who are you?
GAUGUIN: Gauguin – Monsieur Paul
Gauguin. [12]
SEAGOON: (Awestruck) Gauguin? Mon Dieu! – (in French-type French.)
GAUGUIN: You've heard of me?
SEAGOON: Oh yes. I've read all of
your paintings from cover to cover. Entré!
GAUGUIN: Thank you, little squodged-out
nurk.
SEAGOON: (Narrating) Gauguin dismounted. He appeared to be a fastidious man
– before entering he wiped his feet on a Van Gogh, rolled himself a Renoir and
lit it with a Botticelli.[13]
GAUGUIN: (Approaching) Nice little studio. Fourteenth floor isn't it?
SEAGOON: Yes – it's the highest
basement in
GAUGUIN: Oh, that's very kind of you.
SEAGOON: (going off) Just come along with me perhaps…
MORIARTY: (Close) So, this man Gauguin was a painter, ehi? Now if I could get
him to paint a portrait of the twenty foot easel, then I could take the actual
easel for firewood leaving the painting in its place and Neddie would never
know the difference. (Aloud) Ahem. (Calls out) Monsieur?
GAUGUIN: Oui?
MORIARTY: I want you to paint a
portrait of a twenty foot easel.
GAUGUIN: I shall have to have a
model.
MORIARTY: You can have my poor old
grandmother. Meantime – paint that easel!
GAUGUIN: Not so fast, lopsided frog
eater.
MORIARTY: What!?
GAUGUIN: You can't order me to
paint. If you want a painting you must commission me.
MORIARTY: Right. Sew these pips on
your shoulders. Now get on with it, Captain…
GAUGUIN: Stand to attention when you're
talking to me.
MORIARTY: (Clicks heels) Merci.
GAUGUIN: Now before I start
painting, here is Max Geldray to play a melody divine. Shall we dance Neddie?
SEAGOON: I'd love too.
GAUGUIN: Come along now...
MAX GELDRAY - "Jeepers Creepers". [14]
GREENSLADE: That was Max Geldray
playing his harmonica. (I wonder what excuse he'll give this week.) And now –
“Tales of Montmartre” part the derx. Enter Fiefie, or if you're French – Fifi.
GRAMS: “Moulin Rouge” theme – Mantovani
Orchestra excerpt.
SEAGOON: Gauguin stayed with me and
for weeks worked on a painting. He never let me see it. At night he kept it
covered with a layer of black paint.
GAUGUIN: Neddie, answer the door.
SEAGOON: What door?
FX: Knocking on door.
GAUGUIN: That door Neddie.
FX: Door opens.
FIFI: [15]
(Approaching)
SEAGOON: (clears throat) Ahem. Good evening.
FIFI: Here is a ladder – kiss me.
GRAMS: Long kiss. Champagne cork
popping.
SEAGOON: (Sexual hysteria) AAAAAAAAARRGGHH! (Tarzan-like whooping) Aha – AA-aa-AA-aa-AA-aa-AA-aa-AA-aa! (sings) Be my looooove… [16](Indian war-whoops) OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo,
la-LA-la-LA-la-LA-la-LA-la… (Fade
into distance.)
GRAMS: Sound of enormously heavy object crashing
down through eight floors. Masonry collapsing, walls crashing in.
(Slight pause)
SEAGOON: Who are you?
FIFI: Don't try and fight it
darlinggg.
SEAGOON: Ehi?
FIFI: Zis is bigger than both of us
– look!
SEAGOON: Gad! – a photo of the
FIFI: Yes. I was born on top of it.
SEAGOON: You've come down in the
world.
FIFI: Come darling, kiss me. Time is
so short, and so are you. I am Fifi, I've come to help you. I am a model.
SEAGOON: Oh. (clears throat) Ahem. Well you can disrobe behind those screens.
FIFI: (Narrates) For three weeks I posed for
SEAGOON: That's enough for today Fifi.
The light’s failing, and my eyes are hurting.
FIFI: But
SEAGOON: I say! That's a golly good
idea. Yes, well – I'm hopeless at nudes. (Laughs)
Ha ha ha! Ahem. (Narrates) And so we
got married.
FX: Door opens.
GAUGUIN: Neddie, have you got a
spare sackbut?[17] Mine’s
gone out and I… What? Oooooooh!
FIFI: (Alluring) Helloooo.
SEAGOON: Ohh, you two haven't met
before have you? Well, this is Fifi my wife and Fifi, this is my trusted
friend…
GRAMS: Single whoosh. Immediate
passionate kiss. (Extend under.)
GAUGUIN: Ohhh, how delightful…
SEAGOON: This is – um... Fifi? Ah, Fifi?
(clears throat) Ahem. Fifi, this is
um…
FX: Door opens. Door closes. Telephone rings. Hand piece picked up.
FIFI: Darling... (Close) Hello?
SEAGOON: (On phone) I just wanted to say his name is Paul Gauguin.
FIFI: Thank you.
FX: Hand piece down.
GAUGUIN: Who was that dear?
FX: Door opens.
SEAGOON: (panting) Me!
GAUGUIN: Neddie, naughty Neddie! You
never told me about your jolly little wife.
SEAGOON: Well, I knew you were busy.
GAUGUIN: (chuckles) Neddie, we three are going to be jolly happy together.
Aren't we dearest?
FIFI: Yes. Let's go away, together.
GAUGUIN: Yes, let's. (Self fade.) Oh darling, I find you... (Both continue to chatter behind)
SEAGOON: I'm so happy you and Paul
are going to get along together. At first I thought you might fight. (Laughs) Ha ha ha! Well, let's celebrate
shall we? I'll make dinner. Now I'll just light the stove. Where are those – um...
(Calls) Fifi? Oh Fifi? (Clears throat) Ahem. Darling? (Whistles) Just a minute! (Calls) Woohoo! Fifi? I say…
FX: Door opens. Door closes. Telephone rings. Handpiece picked up.
FIFI: ‘Ello? ‘Ello?
SEAGOON: (On phone) Darling? – where are the matches?
FIFI: On the cupboard.
SEAGOON: Thank you.
FX: Hand piece down..
FIFI: Oh, how happy we three were
together.
SEAGOON: Yes. I didn't see much of Fifi.
For that matter I didn't see much of Paul, so… (laughs) ha ha, that evened things up. Then one French evening…
GRAMS: “Moulin Rouge” theme – as before.
FIFI: (Crying) Oh, oh! Oh, ho ho oh! Oh, mon coeur! (Sobs)
SEAGOON: Here, let me take that
heavy gramophone.
GRAMS: Needle across record. Music
stops.
FIFI: (Sobbing) C'est triste! Que terrible!
SEAGOON: Don't stop darling – tell
me all.
FIFI: (Distraught) Défense de cracher, défense de fumer, Boulevard Saint
Germain d’ici Radio Francaise aux Champs-Élysées. La plume de ma tante quelle ridi toujour, toujour la tristesse, toujour pour
jadis toujours, côté de la mer sur le Pont d'Avignon, Pére Auguste.[18]
SEAGOON: Gad! –
if I could only speak French.
FIFI: (Crying) Ohhhh
SEAGOON: There, there, there. Please
don't – don’t cry. You're making your moustache all droopy.
FIFI: It's Paul.You must speak to
him.
SEAGOON: Certainly. Hello Paul. I
see Arsenal took another bashing! [19]
FIFI: No. Paul didn't come home to
me last night.
SEAGOON: He can't do that to a wife
of mine!
FIFI: He has been unfaithful to us.
SEAGOON: I'll thrash him within a
hundred miles of my life.
FX: Noise of key turning in lock.
SEAGOON: Shh! Listen…
FIFI: It's Paullll.
FX: Door opens.
SEAGOON: You swine Gauguin! Take
that…
GRAMS: Scuffling, crockery breaking,
furniture overturned, distant cavalry bugle, cannons, cavalry charge, drumming
of hooves, fade under.
FIFI: Oh, how they fought. They were
still at it when I came back from the pictures. I could not see who was
winning, but I knew it was one of them.
SEAGOON: (Effort) Huh! Ah, there. (panting)
Now you swine, what have you got to say for yourself?
ECCLES:
SEAGOON: Ehi?
ECCLES: I've been thinking about
that music you played at the beginning and I say this story takes place in
SEAGOON: Oh no! Try again. Now get
out Eccles.
FX: Door closes.
FIFI: Oh darling, darling look – you
have cut yourself fighting. Let me kiss away those broken bones.
FX: Lengthy kiss.
FIFI: There, is that better?
ECCLES: Fine, fine, fine.
SEAGOON: Get out Eccles!
ECCLES: Get out Eccles!
SEAGOON: Get out!
ECCLES: Get out!
FX: Door closes.
FIFI: Oh now darling we are alone.
ECCLES: Yeah darling.
FX: Pounding on door.
SEAGOON: (Distant) Let me in Eccles!
ECCLES: Let me in Eccles!
SEAGOON: Shut up!
ECCLES: Shut up!
FX: Door opens.
SEAGOON: (Close) Now, get out you little idiot.
FX: Door closes.
SEAGOON: (panting) I'm sorry about that interruption, darling.
ECCLES: That's ok, darling.
SEAGOON: (yells) GET OUT! [20]
FIFI:
SEAGOON: Woman? That was a man.
GRAMS: Horse whinnying. Hooves galloping
in the distance.
FX: Door closes.
SEAGOON: Mad, impulsive girl.[21]
Ah well – she's obviously gone for a breath of fresh air and a brioche.
FX: Door opens.
SEAGOON: Ah darling, you're back.
You look much better after your little walk. (Passionate kissing.)
BLOODNOK: Thank you. Now to
business. My name is Major Dennis Bloodnok.
SEAGOON: Then why are you disguised as
a steak and kidney pudding?
BLOODNOK: It's lunch time. How many
live here?
SEAGOON: Let me see, there's my
wife, Paul Gauguin...
BLOODNOK: So your wife is Paul
Gauguin? Well everyone to his own tastes I always say.
SEAGOON: What do you want here you
ragged bum?
BLOODNOK: Ragged bum? A duel sir! Four
paces…
FX: Two pistol shots.
BLOODNOK: Right! Honour is
satisfied.
FX: Door opens.
FIFI: (Approaching)
BLOODNOK: (Fascinated) Ohohohoho…
SEAGOON: This is Fifi my wife. Fifi,
this is Major...
BLOODNOK: Ohohohoho…
GRAMS: Single whoosh. Passionate kisses.
(Continue under.)
BLOODNOK: Oh you little beauty! You
lovely little naughty thing. You're a lucky man sir I say. I think I'll take my
pack off for a few moments…
SEAGOON: Excuse me!
BLOODNOK: How dare you talk while
I'm kissing your wife – who do you think you are?!
SEAGOON: I am
BLOODNOK: Alright, do Al Jolson.
ELLINGTON: Maamee! [22]
BLOODNOK: Splendid. Shall we dance?
SEAGOON: I'd love to.
BLOODNOK: (Self fade) Ohhhh.
RAY ELLINGTON
QUARTET - “One Alone" [23]
GREENSLADE: That was the Ray
Ellington Quartet. The BBC are not responsible for the loss of valuables. And
now “Tales of Montmartre”, part the troys.
ORCHESTRA: Late night Parisian jazz link.
(The
‘Can-can’ – slow, on wah-wah trumpet with jazz combo.)
MORIARTY: (Narrating) That girl Fifi was a menace. Paul Gauguin was very slow
in painting the portrait of the easel, so I sent Bloodnok to offer Neddie a
slightly higher price for the twenty foot easel.
BLOODNOK: (fading in) Yes, I offer you ninety five francs in French currency.
SEAGOON: In French currency? That
means I could stay in this country to spend it.
FX: Thump on table.
BLOODNOK: Here's a hundred franc
note.
SEAGOON: I've no change. Have you
nothing smaller?
BLOODNOK: I have a bus ticket.
SEAGOON: Not enough.
BLOODNOK: Two bus tickets, and an
empty matchbox.
SEAGOON: I accept!
BLOODNOK: Thank you.
FX: Cash register. Coin in till.
SEAGOON: Wait! How do I know these
bus tickets are genuine?
BLOODNOK: Great boiling buckets of
bringe! – I used them myself only this morning. Look, here's a photograph of me
being thrown off the bus.
SEAGOON: Proof enough! I'm sorry I
doubted you. Now here's the twenty foot easel, all wrapped up in brown type
paper.
FX: Paper rustling.
BLOODNOK: (Self fade) Oh! Moriarty, I've got it! Ohhh…
GRAMS: Pair of boots running into
distance.
MORIARTY: Six o'clock. Sapristi nabolas!
I told that fool Bloodnok to meet me here outside Monsieur Crun's shop.
GRAMS: Pair of running boots
approaching.
BLOODNOK: (Approaching) Ahh, Moriarty! Moriarty I've got it!
MORIARTY: I knew you'd get it one day.
You must see a vet at once.
BLOODNOK: (Naughty Moriarty!) Look,
I've got the easel.
MORIARTY: Ohhh, eeoieegh! Good!
BLOODNOK: I managed to get it for only
a hundred and fifty francs.
FX: Cash register. Coin in till.
BLOODNOK: Thank you. Now, what about
the commission?
MORIARTY: Here it is – two francs in
unused socks.
BLOODNOK: What!? You've deceived me!
We must fight a duel. Three paces and then fire.
FX: Two pistol shots.
BLOODNOK: Honour is satisfied. Now
then, I'll come in the shop and see how much you're going to sell it for.
MORIARTY: Oh, sapristi no! No, no,
no! I must do it alone.
BLOODNOK: Ooh no! – you're not going
to get rid of old dirty Dennis quite so easily. Oh no, I'm going to...
MORIARTY: Police!!
BLOODNOK: (Terror – self fade) AAAAAAAARGH…
GRAMS: Pair of boots running into distance.
MORIARTY: Ha ha ha! Got rid of him.
FX: Door opening. Shop bell. Door closes.
CRUN: Count Morinarty, mon ami.
MORIARTY: Ah, Monsieur Crun.
Monsieur Crun – look! I have here a twenty foot easel to sell for firewood.
CRUN: Oh, good, good.
MORIARTY: Now to business.
FX: Paper rustling. (Continue under)
MORIARTY: I'll unwrap the easel and
show you how much of it there is – and it's solid wood except for the peg
holes, and they're solid air. There!
CRUN: Wait a minute. This, isn't a
twenty foot easel – it's a painting of the easel.
MORIARTY: Oh ie oo ie oo ie oo… in
French. I've been swindled!
CRUN: (Aside)
This painting is signed by Paul Gauguin. (Aloud)
I'll er… give you er… a thousand francs for this.
MORIARTY: What! (aside) If a painting of the twenty foot easel is worth a thousand
francs, then the original easel must be worth a fortune! I must get it. (Aloud) Ho ho! Wait here.
GRAMS: Single whoosh.
FX: Door slams.
MORIARTY: (Approaching) Cabby! Cabby! – in French. Ici!
BLUEBOTTLE: I heard your French type
call mon cap-i-tan. Enter French Bottle-Bleu. Voyla! – cracks whip.
FX: Slapstick.
BLUEBOTTLE: Ohhh, mon ear-'ole. I'm
always doin' that.
MORIARTY: Silence. Drive me to the
studio of Toulouse-Lautrec and step on it.
BLUEBOTTLE: Step on what, Captain?
MORIARTY: Go fast! – hurry!
BLUEBOTTLE: I haven't got a horse.
Oh I know, I will pull the carriage myself. Gets in shaft, puts on harness.
MORIARTY: Sapristi cardboard
harness, hurry man!
BLUEBOTTLE: You go on ahead, and
I'll catch you up.
MORIARTY: Do you know the address?
BLUEBOTTLE: No, I'll follow you.
MORIARTY: Sapristi, I don't know the
address.
BLUEBOTTLE: Well, then you'd better
follow me.
MORIARTY: Right.
BLUEBOTTLE: Takes coconut shells and
starts up. Gid up!
FX: Coconut shell hooves. Short burst.
MORIARTY: Stop, stop! This is the
place, and here is something for you.
BLUEBOTTLE: Ohh, ta. What is it? It
is a nice...
GRAMS: Explosion.
BLUEBOTTLE: You rotten swine, you! [24]
GRAMS: “Moulin Rouge” theme – as before.
FIFI: (Intimate) Oh, Paul.
GAUGUIN: Darling, how lovely you
are... (Continue conversation in
background)
SEAGOON: (Close) Dear listeners, this had been going on for some time. (Aloud) Gauguin, I'm going to come to
the point. What's the matter Fifi – don't you love me any longer?
GAUGUIN: If you were longer, she'd
love you much more.
SEAGOON: Swine! (Close) Then I hit on a plan. To try to draw her attention, I set fire
to myself. It moved her – she fried an egg on me. To keep me going, they
chopped up the twenty foot easel and threw that on me.
FX: Door opens.
MORIARTY: (Approaching) Ah Neddie, Neddie… Stop! Fools, you've burnt the easel.
Oh ruined... (Double take) Oh ohhhh…
FIFI: (Enchanted) Ohhhh, kiss me.
GRAMS: Single whoosh.
MORIARTY: Ohhhh! Ho ho ho, my little
beauty. I love you. (Fast pecks)
FIFI: I bet you say that to all the
girls.
MORIARTY: Well, it's no good saying
it to all the boys.
GAUGUIN: You swine! We must fight a
duel. Three paces...
FX: Single pistol shot.
MORIARTY: Ohhhh! in French.
GAUGUIN: Got him! And now Fifi, let's
go.
SEAGOON: So you're… you're both leaving
me – leaving me penniless.
GAUGUIN: Not quite. You can keep my
paintings.
SEAGOON: What good are they?
GAUGUIN: Nothing now. They'll be worth
a fortune after I'm dead.
SEAGOON: After you're dead?
FX: Single pistol shot.
SEAGOON: I'm rich! (Laughs) Ha ha! Now Fifi, we can be
happy.
FIFI: No, there’s someone else.
SEAGOON: Who?
FX: Door opens.
BLUEBOTTLE: (Approaching) Are you ready Fifi, my little love?
SEAGOON: You rotten swine
Bluebottle!
ORCHESTRA: End theme.
GREENSLADE: That was the goon show,
a BBC recorded program featuring Peter Sellers,[25]
Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan and Charlotte Mitchell, with the Ray Ellington
Quartet and Max Geldray. The orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott, script by
Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes, announcer Wallace Greenslade, the program
produced by Peter Eton.
ORCHESTRA: Playout - "Crazy Rhythm”
YTI 